Name:Samuel Location: Lafayette, Indiana, United States Birthday:3/26/1987 Gender:Male
Interests:girls, music, candles, guitars, rope sandles, bluegrass, college, and JESUS Expertise:i used to work at scholtzsky's deli so i can make a mean sandwhich and i used to work at wal-mart so i can push like a gillion carts if need be.... also i am a ninja Occupation:Student
i long to be free. from all my bonds. i know there are some things that i cant be free from like i'm bound to live, bound to choose, bound to my past. but ultimately i am going to start making my decisions in order to bring myself to freedom. i'm starting to minimilize the material things that i have. clothes, shoes, hats, 2 computers, 3 guitars, 2 game systems, and im also going to get rid of some habits and relationships that tie me down and dont benefit my life.
i feel really good about this, and this isnt just a pipedream. this is a monumental realization for me. october 20th. the day i changed my own life.
i think ultimately i was afraid of becoming a drone to this world. and i was feeling tied down to this city, these jobs, my debtors, and everything in my life. so im doing something about it.
if u havent seen dark knight yet then you are a fool....
uh-freaking-mazing.
so im going back and reading the watchmen by alan moore and really enjoying it so far. they have made it into a movie so im reading the graphic novel to be reminded as to what it's about. i miss comics (shut up andrew)
new house= awesome
bad stuff about the house:
It's still in cordova
Can't park on the street
i have to move all my stuff...
good stuff about the house
it has a kick ass pool in the backyard
livin with 3 friends instead of one acquaintence
it's a whole house not just an apartment
im pretty frickin pumped..... it's like crazy storming outside, i sat out there and read for a while. it was nice, i will miss my third story balcony. im gonna go back to reading now.
i am a youth director at a church. i love the kids in my youth group, and they seem to like me too. i wish they would be more gung-ho about coming but maybe thats my problem. i DISPISE this church though. there is nothing in this church that is spiritually enriching for me. i am spiritually starving for a genuine worship experience (which is why im pumped about camp next week). it is almost laughable that they call the sunday morning service a worship service. i have to get up every week and give the congregation an update on the youth and everytime i stand up in front of them i am looking out at blank faces. i have joked with my friends and even my youth that i could get up there and say anything and no one would respond. i love bein a methodist because we focus alot of God's love and mercy and grace, instead of talkin about hell alot... it's nice, but every service is so fucking mechanical it's dry and boring. piano plays, announcements, hymn, gloria patri, childrens time, hymn, offering, praise God, teen time (what a joke), choir anthem, scripture, sermon (at this point i am normally dozing off) closing hymn, benediction. every sunday with very few changes with special occasions like communion, which is also just as mechanical, i mean this is the symbolic meal that Jesus gave his best friends before he sacrificed himself for all of our sins and people go up there and kneel, take the smallest miniscule little piece of bread and the mini shot glass of grape juice and say a quick prayer and go back to there seats. do they understand or realize how Jesus wanted this meal to be? back in the day they pretty much had bread and wine at every meal, and He chose these very common items to symbolize his sacrifice and said "do this in remembrance of me" so he wanted us to remember him at every single meal. not just on the first of the month sunday morning. EVERYTIME WE ATE. im not sayin that i'm all that and a bag of chips when it comes to doin what God wants us to do, but i do long for my faith to be a real relationship with God, not just some dry rehearsed event i go to once a week because people will talk bad about me if i dont show up for a few weeks. SHIT.....
and i need a second job.
i currently have 12 applications out, i've made calls, and even went to a damn "hiring event" that turned out to be a total waste of time. i walk in a place and ask are you hiring and this is almost verbatim the answer i get everytime.."well i dont know but we are accepting applications" in other words, probably not, but we'll give u a slight bit of hope so you can feel better about yer life...
i have been puttin an effort into trying to make things work out for me, but im getting so fuckin jaded, that i have no motivation to try anymore at anything, dating, getting a job, losing weight, quitting smoking....
